Job #1–Care
You know the old saying, right? “They don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”
It really is that simple, but how do we let them know how much we care? I’d like to suggest that we can break this down into two basic areas:
Be There
Being there is…well, it’s just that. We need to show up in the lives of the students that we are committed to leading. Is a student of yours involved in drama? Be there when the show goes on. Do you know a teenager who is a gamer? Take him out to the arcade to hang out with him in his element. Is one of your students an athlete? Hang out and watch her at practice (because everyone goes to the games).
Simply proving to teenagers that you are willing to take time out of your day for them goes a long way in proving how much you care. This is so important, but we also need to take another step in this area.
Be there in the little conversations that you have around church. I mean, really be present to your students. So often, I see people in the halls of church engaged in one conversation and totally drop it in favor of a conversation that they think will be more stimulating. When you are engaged in a conversation with a teenager, be there.
Pray
Pray for your students. Find out what is weighing on their hearts, what is going on in their world, and pray for it; then let your students know that you are praying for them. Not only will your prayers have a huge impact on the lives of the students, but the fact that they know that you have spent time talking to God about what is important in their lives will have an immeasurable impact in the lives of the students in your group!
Job #2–Accountability
This is perhaps the toughest of all of the jobs of a small group leader to get a handle on and master. Having an attitude of accountability between a teenager and a small group leader isn’t something that can be manufactured within or imposed upon the relationship. Accountability needs to bubble up organically.
All of these small group leader jobs work together. How does care help in the accountability area? Put yourself in the place of a teenager for a moment: Why would you put yourself in a vulnerable situation, such as accountability, with a person who hasn’t proved that she cares about you?
Be sure that you are continually working at caring for the students in your group and looking for organic opportunities for accountability to bubble up.
Job #3–Relational Connection
This job is all about building relationships with the students in your small group. Relational connection is different from care in that relational connection goes 360 degrees in your group; it’s all about developing a real relationship not only between you and your students but among the students themselves. Relational connection is about creating a real group, not just a conglomeration of individuals.
All of these jobs are equally important, but they don’t all get equal time. The reason for this is that some just need more time than others to take effect. Relational connection is the one that will most likely need to take the majority of your actual small group meeting time (think 80%).
It is vital that a good deal of time be spent just getting to know each other, having fun, and seemingly “wasting time” together, because that time will create the foundational relationships that are necessary so that the group can begin to care for its own members—and accountability will be taken to heart.
If you are the point person for the small groups in your ministry, then it is your job to overly give relational connection permission to the individual small group leaders. Often, it may seem like group time is being wasted in catching up on the week or talking about sports, guys, girls, school, and parent drama, but that relationship time is vital to the group and can be a great jumping off point for the next job of a small group leader!
Job #4—Spiritual Application/Implication
Without a small group leader doing this fourth job, the small group would simply be another club.
For there to be success for small group leaders in this job, they have had to be deeply invested in jobs one and three. If a small group leader has not invested in building relationships and in the care of students, the odds of having created an environment where spiritual application/implication can be taken seriously are slim to none.
Spiritual Application—The small group leader’s job here is to help students learn what spiritual truths they can apply to their lives at this time. What part is there to learn from and live out? Application is about what we see on the outside, which is important but not as important as…
Spiritual Implication—The small group leader’s job here is to guide students in understanding how their lives are tied to, or implicated in, God’s story. How does the Scripture that was looked into today shed light on your part in the story of the Kingdom? Implication is about our hearts being tied to what God is doing in this world.
This post was condensed from a 4 part series on CoffeeWithChris.com & was originally posted on Youth Ministry Today.
[Photo by: Vermont Lenses]
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Chris Szulwach is a youth pastor in Liverpool, NY. Chris has 11 years experience as a volunteer, para-church staff, and as a pastor.
Blog - CoffeeWithChris.com
Twitter - http://twitter.com/CoffeeWithChris
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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Lately it seems I keep getting hammered by the importance of parents . . . Especially in smaller youth ministries.
Getting connected with them . . . Helping them feel like they are partnering with you (which is the ideal, of course. But sadly not the norm.)
So, I would include that in your relational connections .
Great post.